Wait - that's not exactly true.
I used to seethe with hate and anger during my first job out of grad school cuz I hated my boss so much. But it wasn't the job, it was THE MAN.
And back in college I worked at a coffee shop in NYC for the summer, and I used to wake in the middle of the night trying to sell people iced tea.
But now is different. Now my mind races as I try to relax into sleep, as it itemizes all of the things I need to do and searches for brilliant new ideas and plans of attack. There's a lot of work at my job, my colleagues are stressed to the max and thinking of quitting. I'm somehow staying afloat and there is talk of a promotion...but it's WEIRD. And kind of scary.
Weird because I used to use work time to pay bills and blog and chat with friends and now I use work time to work. In fact, I even use home time to work. Now when I come home, that small bit of time between my arrival and the babies' bedtime is my downtime, busy though it is. It's the time I don't think about work and can be silly and have fun. It's short, this time, but it completely resets me (that is, until I try to go to sleep and my mind races again).
When did I become this person that cares about work? It all has to do with responsibility - work gave me responsibility and credibility and now people come to me to ask questions and get answers and I spend my whole day responding to emails and being in meetings and never actually doing the work I'm supposed to do.
I'm complaining, I know. It's just all very new to me and I'm still marvelling at it. I'm marvelling at how it changes my perspective on things and how it re-prioritizes things for me.
It's cool that I no longer have a job that bores me to tears. I have a job that challenges me. Sure, it's not all that glamorous or even interesting - but it makes me think and keeps me on my toes. I can get my kicks elsewhere, right? Like with hair. I have new hair and it's curly and bright and it makes me happy.
I do need to find a way to work knitting back into my life. The collar of Juno is complicated enough that I never have the mental energy to work on it; so need to start a new mindless project. I fear Juno won't be ready to wear this winter at all. Ah well. This too shall pass....right??
7 comments:
I'm in a similar-yet-different phase of my life. It sounds like your version is a little more... something. Responsible, let's say that.
Okay, first of all...your hair. I love it. You are ridiculously hot. Ridiculously.
Second...the responsible job. I know exactly what you mean - it's weird when work turns into more of A Profession than A J.O.B. It can be exciting, but it can also be really freakin' exhausting, so please try and build in some fun time and some of grown up down time, because otherwise...well, you remember Wednesdays are for Crying, right?
Anyway - I love you and you're hot.
xoxo
Your hair looks completely and utterly gorgeous! I love the color, the wave,the length, all of it!
And I'm glad you're finding more satisfaction at work. I remember how you felt at the last one, so this is great.
I'm always trying to find a balance with work where it's not sucking up all of my time, but I'm keeping busy. Well, that's not true. Sometimes if things aren't busy for a couple of days, I let them stay that way and just make it seem to my manager that I'm crazy busy.
It sounds like things are reaching a good flow and I'm so glad!
I love your hair!! What a fantastic color, and I love the idea of curls on you. I can't wait to see you in person.
Anyway, I know it's more stressful, but I'm really happy that you're feeling this way about work. In my experience, it's easier to get out of bed to go to work when you actually feel like you have a purpose there. And Elisa's right, it's important to find your balance, and you will, it just takes some time.
Big hugs! I miss you!!
I really love your hair! So pretty! Lucky you, with the interesting/challenging job, too! :)
Take care,
-Jenni
It doesn't sound like complaining to me, it sounds like purpose with a side of confusion. Which, overall, is not a bad thing.
And your hair looks brilliant.
Hi... I am also a mom of twins. I own an online children's shop and I just purchased the most adorable twin greeting cards. They are designed by a mom of twins and she is still growing her business. I was wondering if you be interested in featuring them on you blog to help her get a little exposure.
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